How do you manage the worry, and fear of your cancer needing treatment?
Or perhaps you’ve been on watch & wait for years, and want to tell others your experience of how you keep your worry in check?
I have been fortunate to have been on watch and wait for 14 yrs.
The initial feelings of being in a bubble with my worry, fear and anxiety took a long, long time to start to subside, probably several months and I was looking at what others were doing and whatever it was it was not what I wanted and needed at the time. We were all struggling. I suppose I kept the feelings inside me and did not talk about them as I was trying to appear strong and coping. Perhaps, specialist counselling would have helped but it was not as normalised or available in those days. Over the years, and I mean years, the feelings have calmed down but they come whizzing straight back if I hear of others with a serious condition or my medical appointments are due or during them. For me it is a yukky, stabbing feeling in my gut and my mind goes into overdrive with the feelings and thoughts around worry, fear and anxiety. The only way I think I manage those feelings and thoughts is making sure I eat healthily, with the odd treats, get rest and sleep and get fresh air and exercise and try not to get stressed by controlling what I can. If I get low, tired and fatigued my mind starts going into overdrive.
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Hello @Erica,
Thank you for the suggestions to the forum. Could you recommend some options to ease anxiety issues? Their could be many activities to help.
Anxiety is a funny thing and it would be misleading to say that when you are living with an incurable cancer that it ever goes away. However I agree wholeheartedly with Joshua that a distraction technique is very effective in managing the anxiety. Whether it’s the activities of a 5 year old granddaughter or your hobbies and interests they are equally effective at putting the anxiety far into the corner. However when the periodic clinic review comes round whether it’s monthly or quarterly it’s difficult to keep the anxiety hidden away. You worry about what the results will show, what does it mean, will treatment be starting again. When you get to that stage you need to employ all the distraction techniques that you can but strangely talking to people about how you feel is also a powerful anxiety reliever.
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I love walking and people watching. I am fascinated by relationships and peoples interactions. It’s all free.
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Hello @Erica,
Are their other hobbies that you could suggest for our members to manage their anxiety?
I’ve been on watch and wait for three years now. What a lousy expression, I’m watching for a bus and waiting for it to run over me.
No, I’m self monitoring. Taking care how I do things and keeping a check on I’m not sure what, but I’m sure I’ll know it when it happens. I run to the doctor when I think I need looking at - the doctor says she’ll be cross with me if I didn’t. So I’ve become a bit of a hypochondriac.
I always feel a bit of a fraud on websites like this as I have no obvious symptoms - so far - apart from lack of energy. I can’t keep up with the others when out cycling - I try to do 500 miles a month. I have just bought a new electric bike. It’s a cracker, I can now keep up. A lot of people on this site are going through the mill.
How did I feel on diagnosis? I went to see the doctor for something or other and she sent me for a blood test.
She rang me back the next day telling me not to worry but my white cell count was high. I googled it and realised it was probably blood cancer. This put me in a bit of a tizzy. I went to the hospital for another blood test then saw the consultant. To my relief he said CLL, which I realised was the least worst diagnosis.
I don’t see any point in overly dwelling on my condition, which is more of a nuisance than anything else.
Hope this helps somebody.
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Hi, I really agree with so much of what you say. I also have CLL and have been on ‘watch and wait’ or self monitoring for 14 yrs. I also work closely with my GP, who is wonderful, I was told it was taking responsibility for my condition. I started charting my blood tests on graph paper, but the more tests I charted meant I ended up sellotaping the gragh paper together until it became like a toilet roll. I know keep them on my lap top. I agree that fatigue is also my main symptom. I do not deal with what personally stresses me well and my fatigue can set in immediately or up to 48hrs later. I don’t do evenings, I am a lady that lunches. I love the idea of your electric bike. @Nickmarks57 has done the same, you might wish to read his posts under Living with and after blood cancer, How I am trying to keep fit. Please do keep posting your fears, thoughts and feelings as I am sure they will help others.
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@Yardbrush
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us regarding watch and wait. We have a few people on the forum are exactly in the same as boat of watch and wait. Many people on the forum have the same issue with being on watch and wait which is the fatigue and lack of energy. After reading your post about your bike, another one of our members bought an electric bike and he said the exact same thing you did about it haha. It seems to be quite handy for people who love cycling.
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